Day 83 - Sorry I've been a stranger...

Ugh. Life. It has been getting in my way of doing things. Things like this blog and searching out coupons and having fun.

I have a lot to recap for you. Lets start with February. Mid-February I got off of my game to some extent. Three weeks in a row I forgot to get the Sunday paper. That meant few new coupons for me to use. I was still searching out deals at the grocery store. I bought some canned vegetables for pretty cheap a couple of times, but nothing like the barn burning "Cantastic" sale of January. I continued to use food that I already had on hand to make meals, and make those meals stretch. There were a lot more trips to the grocery store, though. I didn't plan as well as I could have.

Also, with February being a short month, and the weather being horribly bad at times, we had a little less income coming in on my husbands end. That's not his fault, just the way it goes sometimes. I was only able to pay off 3% of our mortgage with the payment that was due in the beginning of March. Three percent is still something, but I know I could have done better had I done a better job keeping my eye on the prize.

March brought us a new home improvement project: new carpet for the second story of our house. The old carpet was the same as was there when my husband bought the house 14 years ago, and wasn't great back then. The kids also switched rooms at the same time. This meant that we had to repaint the walls, freshen up the trim and purchase a few incidentals to make the switch successful. Before you roll your eyes, I did a really stellar job (in my opinion) of keeping costs down during this big project. I gave my son a headboard I had been hoarding in the basement for years and repainted a desk and dresser to match so he would have a fresh "new" bedroom set. I used paint we already had leftover from the living room to paint the walls in his room. I gave him a comforter we already had but is still in great condition and is super comfy. I made new art for his room and recycled a lamp from the basement too. For my daughters room we bought paint and a new bed frame for her which I got for cheap from Craigslist.  I repainted another dresser we already owned for her new closet/dressing room. I also made some new decorations for her room which cost me a total of $15.

All in all, I think we did the best job we could have not spending extra money on the whole shebang, and, we got a huge bang for our few bucks. It looks really great up there now! Oh, one more thing, a majority of the money we spent came out of our savings which won't impact our plan to pay off the mortgage.

At the end of February/beginning of March we also had to spend some money getting an old car we own up and running again for our oldest. Thankfully, it was a fairly cheap fix! And my husband got to have the opportunity to teach him how to drive a stick shift. I'm surprised we didn't incur some medical expenses in that process. :)

So now that everything in my house is back in it's place I can focus on the task at hand. Today's Sunday which means I need to remember to get the paper.... ;)

Our Story

It hasn't always been an easy road for my husband and I, financially speaking. In the early years of our marriage we struggled to make ends meet. To be honest, there were times that I never thought it would get better. But it did. We haven't always made the best financial decisions but we've gotten better over the years.  We've gotten to a place that I never thought I'd ever be considering where I came from. For the four years after our daughter was born I didn't work. It was hard on me, not since childhood had I been financially reliant on another person. It scared the crap out of me. We muddled through though. I went back to work and when I decided to quit that job for another lower paying position, my husband stood behind me and supported my decision. I can't say I've always been so supportive of his decisions where money is concerned, but he's always made it work out for the better, just like he said he would.

As you may have deduced from reading the past two posts, my husband and I come from very similar circumstances, but have taken different paths in dealing with it. Sometimes this causes issues to arise. I am a spender, he is a saver. I don't understand why it doesn't matter to him if the table matches the chairs, he doesn't understand why I care if they do. He'd rather look at the cash in his hand, I'd rather look at the pretty shiny thing I probably spent too much money for.

Taking into consideration the lives that we have both lived, and the fact that like most other parents, we want our kids to have a better life than we did, we have been careful in our messages about money to our kids. We have been fortunate enough to be able to give our kids everything they need and some of what they want. We could have given them more, but we think it's important for them to learn early on that they need to work for luxuries in life, just as we did. We are so open about this that our older two kids know we can afford to buy them what they want, but don't, and it's for their own good! Yeah, I'm sure they hate us for that. We talk to them about what things cost and how we budget our money. When we make big purchases we explain how we saved our money to do so. They are well aware of why we have made the decision to never buy things on credit if we don't have to. We have spoken frankly with them about why we decided to get rid of cable tv and why we aren't eating out and the other sacrifices we are making to be able to accomplish our goal. We've talked to them about why it's a smart decision at this time in our lives. I hope someday they will take what we have said and what they have seen, apply it to their own lives, and do a better job of it than we have. That's the American Dream, isn't it?

Being able to pay off our mortgage in the short term means that we will have more freedom. We need to start planning for our future and paying off a big hunk of debt will free up some money for us to do so. We aren't getting any younger. The time is now. If we don't start being proactive about our retirement we won't have one.

Paying off our mortgage also takes a huge weight off of my shoulders. My husband has an extremely dangerous job and I am a lunch lady. Should the worst happen to him, at least I won't have to worry about bringing home as much bacon as he does just to get by. Should I kick the bucket the money I make would probably hardly be missed. The cleaning and cooking I do sure would be though. ;) Not having the burden of a mortgage means that my husband won't have to work so much, which means his body will be in better shape for longer, which is good for our family. I'd like him to be around as long as possible so he can talk me to death every night between 10 and 10:30 pm.

If we don't manage to be able to pay off our mortgage in the near future, it won't be the end of the world. We aren't special. We aren't any better than anyone else, but, we are determined. We are resilient. We are strong. It's what we're made of. :)

Day 53 - His Story

Hmm....I guess I'm supposed to tell "my story". I don't know what I really think of this blog. It's somewhat outside of my comfort zone in terms of privacy. That being said, I suppose I'd rather tell my own story than have it told for me. I'll be as brief as possible....maybe.

My mom didn't drink. She wasn't a drug user. She probably didn't deserve to be in the place she was in life back then but that's where she found herself and I had no choice but to be there with her. As a young child I obviously didn't understand that we were poor. I was used to my life and I think my mom did her best to make sure that me feeling loved was the most important thing. So there we were...me, her and my brother. We moved...a lot. When we moved it was usually in a hurry. We normally didn't get to take everything we would have liked to take. I originally typed out what I thought was a long story and decided to delete it. Instead, I will just say that I know what it's like to not have utilities, the newest toy or even a place to live. At a young age I realized that nobody was going to give me anything more than I already had. If I wanted something I would have to figure out how to get it for myself. You may think that this reflects negatively on my mom in my own mind but it doesn't. In fact, it's probably the greatest thing she ever gave me and she didn't even realize it at the time. I grew up with very little, around people who had very little but always had enough to share and enough heart to want to share. I lost "everything" enough times that I learned the most valuable things can't really be lost or taken.

I moved to Iowa to live with my dad after my freshman year of high school. It was the 13th time I had transferred schools since 1st grade. I had made many friends along the way but always knew that those friendships would be short lived. We would move again soon enough. That was the way things were. In Iowa everything was different. I found friends who are still friends today. I found stability that I always knew other people had. That's great but I didn't lose my view of possessions. I don't live or value my life based on what I have. To me...a table is just a table. It's nice if it matches everything else but it's not something I worry about very much. Perhaps the table will fall apart and I will have to get another one...if I want to. It's only a thing and it's a thing I probably can live without.

As a young adult I started to find financial success. Looking back, I was kind of amused with my purchasing power. I had never been in that position. As fate would have it, I met a man who was very wealthy...and when I say wealthy I mean the kind of money that you don't even get winning the lottery. I knew him for almost a year before I realized how much money he had. You would never know it if you met him. He drove a plain truck with no AC and just a plain radio. He dressed just like everyone else. He was as humble of a man as you could meet. He would go out and work with my tree crews and keep up with the young guys. He surely never had to but he did. I also know that he gives away more money to charity in 6 months than most people make in a year or two...or even three. Those are the kind of charities that helped me have a decent meal when I was a kid. I bet he will never know how much on an influence he was on me at that age. I never expected it myself. He is someone who never forgot where he came from and his attitude probably ensured that I never would either. I've probably never said it but that old man is one of my heros and if I ever grow up I hope to be like him.

So here we are. I can't go buy some piece of shit from the mall that I didn't want anyway. Big deal. It just means that I don't have to waste the gas driving over there and an afternoon walking around looking at nothing. After proofreading this post, my wife thinks that this last paragraph is an abrupt change. Fair enough. People may be happier if abrupt change didn't bother them so much.

Day 50 - My story

In these next few posts I hope to give you some background on where my husband and I have come from. I eluded in one of the early posts that we both had humble upbringings, which is an understatement. I think I'll divide it out into three parts. My story, his story and our story.  I hope to illustrate where we came from, how we got where we are, and where we.going.

MY STORY

I was born into a fairly dysfunctional family. My mother was my fathers second wife and he brought with him three children from his previous marriage. From my mothers account, my father was an alcoholic. He would get paid on Friday and he would drink his paycheck away by Monday. My mother said that there was not always money for the necessities and my grandparents often bought diapers and formula for me. My parents divorced when I was six months old. My father was non-existent in my life until I was 24. He was a great man who was able to overcome his own battles and he never once missed a child support payment in the 17 1/2 years he had to pay.

My mother struggled throughout my childhood to keep a job, often we were on welfare. I spent the majority of my childhood living in Federally funded low-income apartments. I now believe that my mother has some sort of mental health issues which have never been addressed and likely never will be. She would get a job and the first time that there was a problem, she would stop showing up for work. When she did have a job for any length of time, she told her co-workers lies, sometimes swindling them out of money. Of course, she would then quit when she got what she could. My grandparents helped us a lot. I'm not sure how she would have made it through with me without their help. I am grateful they were willing to step in when needed.

There were times that I didn't have enough to eat growing up. I almost never had new clothes or shoes, unless they were gifts from relatives. I was never able to participate in sports, take music lessons or any other kind of extracurricular activities because those cost money. I was on free lunch and Title 19.

For everything that I did not have, I did have a library card, which was probably my greatest "asset". I would lose myself in books. I was fortunate that the library had a mobile bookmobile which parked at my elementary school once a week.

I grew up resentful of my mother. I couldn't understand why she didn't just get a job like everyone elses's parents. I had friends who had single parents, they were doing well. Why couldn't we have matching furniture, a car? Why couldn't I take dance lessons, piano, have a summer pass to the pool, jeans from the mall?

In my last two years of high school I helped pay the rent on our apartment. I had a good job and I worked a lot more hours than most kids my age. My work ethic is great. In the past 21 years that I have been employed I have had 5 jobs. Every job I have had I have had I have started at the bottom and worked my way up. Except for one, I started at the top once. :) I was and am determined to have stable employment. It makes life a whole lot easier.

Two weeks before I turned 18 my mother left me with my best friend from high schools family and set off into the world. She had a little money and no plan. She returned less than three months later, broke and needing my help. She took advantage of me quite a few times over the next few years. I just wanted to believe things could be "normal" for my mom and I so I kept trying to help her. 20 years later we are still far from "normal".

My mother has had a direct impact on who I am financially, who I am as a mother, who I am as an employee. I am who I am because I did not want to grow up and be like her.

For a long time I have overcompensated for all of the things I did not have growing up. Overcompensated to the level of excess. I have more clothes than one person should own. Before this experiment I would shop most every weekend. For many years I have been trying to make up for all of the new clothes and shoes I didn't have while I was growing up. It has made me feel better for a little bit, but as soon as I have to wear the same outfit out for a night on the town or a special event, I "needed" something new. I have matching furniture, matching bath and kitchen towels, matching plates, silverware, glassware, pots and pans. I have a matching set of dining room table and chairs. I have a matching bedroom set. I have matching rugs and lawn furniture.

Why, you ask?

Because I never want for my kids to be embarrassed to bring their friends over to play or for dinner. I never want to feel embarrassed have my friends over for dinner. I want to be proud of my home, my clothes, my car in a way I was never able to feel the entire first 18 years of my life.

Part of this experiment is a lesson for me. It's a lesson in learning that "things" don't make a person happy. I need to learn how not to let the unhappiness and unfulfilled need of my childhood rule my adult life. I've always been trying to fill the void. I need to work on getting past that. I need to learn a new way of thinking.

If I don't, we're going to need a bigger house (and a bigger mortgage) to store all of my clothes, shoes and matching things. ;)

Day 45 - Happy Frugal Valentines Day!

Consumerism is in the air, everywhere I look around...

Today is Valentines Day, or Hallmark Day, or Nobody Gets Out Happy Day. I heard on the radio this morning that this holiday is rarely good for anyone. If you have a significant other, people are generally underwhelmed with how their loved one expresses their love. This can cause feelings of resentment and frustration. If you don't have a significant other, you are generally resentful and frustrated that nobody is expressing their love for you in an underwhelming way.

And then there's me.

I use to have grand expectations of how my husband would perform on Valentines Day. After 10 years of marriage I am quite a bit more realistic. In fact, I wouldn't be upset at all if we didn't celebrate this "holiday". It is nice however to show the person that you love that you love them. I try to do this everyday, but on Valentines Day, I just try to be a little more "cute" about it.

In keeping with "The Rules" this year, we didn't go out to our favorite restaurant for dinner. It is surely a mad house anyway and we aren't a fan of crowds. Instead I made dinner at home. No problem! In the spirit of the "holiday", I cut the carrots for the soup into hearts. Cute, huh? (I got the tortellini on sale and with a dollar off coupon. Score!)

Another nod to "The Rules" was my decision to make my husband a gift instead of buying him something that  would be admired then forgotten in a few days. I saw this really neat idea on Pintrest. The holy grail for thrift, crafty chicks like me. It turned out even better than I had hoped. The words on the tree are the lyrics to our wedding song. I searched high and low for my vows and sadly couldn't find them. I'm sure they'll turn up when I least need them. Anyhoo, here's my gift to him. The whole thing cost me less than $10.

Somebody did not follow "The Rules"...this was his gift to me. They're my favorite. My living room smells divine right now. :)

Here's to hoping your Valentines Day was low on the expectations and as high in the payouts as mine was. This girl has a full belly and a full heart. What more could a girl ask for? :)

Day 42 - The first big payment

Ok, first of all, sorry this is so late. I have been mulling over how much additional principal to send along with our January mortgage payment. To be honest, I've been a little scared to send the money. I keep thinking something catastrophic will happen and we will need that money. In reality, before this experiment I would have spent it all away by now anyway. I probably could have sent a little more than I did. Hopefully I'll get over this fear in the coming months.

I am proud to announce that we have paid off 7% of our mortgage this month! While I had been hoping for more, I'd still consider that a victory. I know that I'm going to have to work a little harder to be able to meet our goal by the end of the year. I've learned some things in this last month I can apply going forward. I didn't expect that I'd do it all perfectly from the get-go. I'm hoping to be rocking it by the fourth month. Kind of like  pregnancy, but easier. Ha!

I was lucky to be able to apply some coupons at the grocery store today to food items that were already on sale, thus reaping a greater savings. I've been working on trying to look for those types of opportunities.

This month we have done an excellent job of not eating out and not buying clothes or things for the house. I was recently invited to a makeup party and declined (sadly) because that does not fit within "the rules". I have been using products that I am not in love with until they are all gone in an effort to not have to purchase a replacement.

Honestly, I can say that I have not felt like I was missing out on anything by not spending money. I have had a weekend or two where I would have loved nothing more than to go to Target and get some "retail therapy", but I did not. And guess what? I'm still here to tell you about it! I am not as well dressed, however. ;)

Thanks to everyone out there who have shared tips and tricks! Thanks for reading. Thanks for being in our corner, silently or not. :)

Day 35 - The dirt on getting clean

Our local grocery store does a daily deal for it's Facebook friends. The deals are usually pretty good, but they aren't always things that I use. When there's a good one, I usually hit it up. Shortly before Thanksgiving they had a deal for turkeys for $.39 a pound! I bought two. I still have one in the deep freeze now that I think about it....

Today's Facebook friends deal was 38 double rolls of Charmin Basic toilet paper for $10! What a steal! I usually buy Quilted Northern or Cottonelle for just under $5. I couldn't pass this offer up!

I went to said grocery store. I needed an onion and garlic for dinner anyway. I grabbed my two items and two packages of 16 count toilet paper. I gave the cashier the promo code needed for the savings and my total rang up to $7.35! I figured I had incorrectly read the daily deal as my total was under $10...

When I got home with my 38 rolls of toilet paper I told my husband that I wanted him to go to the store and get two more packages. He did, and his total was $11 and some change. I guess they had made a mistake when they rang me up. Or made a mistake when ringing him up. It was probably a mistake on my total. I'm much cuter than him, the cashier was probably distracted... ;)

So, lets do the math here. I got 76 rolls of toilet paper for about $16. Had I purchased 76 rolls of my usual toilet paper at approx. $4.90 for 6 rolls I would have spent $62!!! That's a $46 saving over time!

Now, I just need to figure out where I'm going to store 76 rolls of toilet paper...